Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Roses And Those Dang Ol' Thorns

Friends are a blessing, a reason for life and a safe harbor from the storm...usually. I guess it is the nature of all things that blessing come with risks and friends, like family, carry the ability to take the wind right out of you. It has been rare and I know I've been guilty of the same but the sting is the same.

For some time now I have been dealing with the hurtful actions of a friend. She is actually dealing with the backlash of her own choices and deflecting it to me. Mind you, I know what is going on and have broken off regular contact but the pain doesn't seem to go away. Every once in a while it all comes rushing in and I get laid out again.

The worst of it is that it has hit my kid as well. Her child was my daughter's best friend and somehow became a target as well. I understand that it's hard for a child to avoid being caught up in her parent's mind set but I wish they could have been able to stay beyond the fall out. Any pain I felt was multiplied many times over when my girl was hurt.

Okay, I know all the usual things; being open can mean getting hurt. And it doesn't mean I shut down but I still have those days where it all seems to float back to the surface.

The very best lemonade I can make from this? Be more honest with myself, try to recognize when I'm mad at myself and not throw that stinking mess on someone else. And, finally, hope and believe the best from other and future friendships.